grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
