don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
