i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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