genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
