I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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