On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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