I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
