just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
