I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
