What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
