Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize