I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
