whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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