oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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