I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Randomize
