Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
