Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
