I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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