He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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