your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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