I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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