so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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