I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
