Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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