yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
