May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
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