What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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