Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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