oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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