You're completely useless in the revolution.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
