He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize