You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
