I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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