Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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