I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
