What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
