dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
