It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize