He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
