Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
