I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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