She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
