Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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