its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
