The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
