is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
