So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
