You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
