I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
