I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
