You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
