well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
