Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
