so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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