Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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