We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize