if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
