Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We are two peas in an std pod
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
