I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
